


The world's a tiny thing

by Embrun



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Canon Compliant, College Student Stiles, Derek Hale & Stiles Stilinski are Dorks, Derek and Stiles meet again, Fluff, Platonic Relationships, Platonic Soulmates, Platonic Sterek - Freeform, Post-Canon, Pre-Season 6b, Season/Series 06, Stiles Stilinski Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Washington D.C., Worried Derek, but not really, but not really again, but she's not in the fic, how Stiles and Derek came back to Beacon Hills, i guess, implied stydia, planes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 10:39:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11530503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Embrun/pseuds/Embrun
Summary: Derek left Beacon Hills with Braeden and never came back. One year later it's Stiles turn to leave his home town and go to college, and they meet again, miles and miles away from the supernatural city.❈Or how I imagine Derek and Stiles met and came back to help their friends in season 6b.





	1. Bright screen and cinnamon roll

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo !  
> I'm happy to present to you... My first fanfiction ever ! I don't know how to write ! And in English ! It's not even my first language !  
> There're probably more mistakes than well written sentences, maybe some passages are even incomprehensible and you are welcome to point them out in the comments :) And I use italic a lot, be warned.
> 
> Also, I tried to make this the more canon compliant and realistic possible, but since there is an enormous lack of informations about time and dates in Teen Wolf (among other things), it may not be perfect. 
> 
> Here's a bit of background information anyway : After graduating, Stiles leaves for his summer pre-FBI program in Washington and is allowed to move in to the university's campus even if his semester starts in the fall. Everything went as they said in the show : Lydia drove him there before going back to BH, Scott keeps the Jeep, Malia's in summer school. Scott's and Lydia's semesters begin later, so Stiles is the only one who has already left. Now he's started college a few days ago and is still having his FBI program at the same time. Here ya go.
> 
> Edit : Stiles is in a relation ship with Lydia but it's only referred to one or two times. Lydia doesn't appear in the fic.  
> And I started writing this before the first episodes of 6b were out, therefore it's not 6b canon compliant.

His cup was still steaming hot, the soft sounds of the almost empty coffee shop surrounding him, and his laptop open in front of him. He'd planned to scroll through Reddit subjects for the next hour while drinking sweet and warm beverages, before going back to his room on the university's campus. But the shadow appearing over his table a few minutes after he sat down made him look up from his bright screen to meet the stranger's eyes and ask them what they wanted.

 

But there was no stranger at all.

 

Not at all.

 

“Hi, Stiles.”

 

Fuck.

 

His eyes went wide, his expression unbelieving, and he slowly got up from his seat to go stand next to the man and look at him. The man. _The man._

 

He was there.

  
Right in front of him.

  
Here.

  
“ _Fuck_ ” he breathed.

 

Because, indeed, fuck.

 

And then he was crashing against the newcomer's chest, slamming his arms around his broad shoulders and grabbing with desperation the shirt against his back, needing to hold him closer, closer, closer.

Muscled arms were soon pressed against his own sweater, surrounding him with heat and safety. A hand went up his neck and kept his face crushed into his shoulder, while the other was tucked at his waist and clasped him harder, harder, harder.

 

And it felt good.

 

It felt like the protection and the trust he'd missed, _he'd needed_ , for more than a year. It felt like all the apologies he ever wanted and forgiveness and more apologies and even more forgiveness. It felt like all his anger suddenly washed away and was replaced with understanding. It was the touch he'd never got, but still had always known how it'd be. It felt like starting everything again, but knowing with certainty that this time was going to go better. It was soothing, it was exciting. It was all he needed. All he wanted.

 

He didn't realize the fabric against his cheek became soaked with salty water.

 

 

We wouldn't have cared anyway.

 

He wouldn't have let go.

 

It felt like memories.

 

And he won't let go.

 

It felt like home.

 

He won't.

  
❈

  
He did let go, but only after several long, long minutes that didn't seem nearly as long as they should have been. He needed more, but at the same time he felt overwhelmed with this scent, this warmth, this feeling, this connection, everything. And he still wanted more of it.

  
So he straightened up, loosened his arms and looked at his face with wet eyes, sobs wracking his body.

 

“Hi, Derek.” he finally replied quietly and allowed a trembling smile to tug on his lips.

 

The other man was still holding him tight by the waist and was staring back with the softest expression Stiles had ever seen him sport. It looked good.

 

“Hi.” the werewolf repeated with an amused smile.

 

He chuckled dumbly between silent tears and pressed the side of his face against Derek's shoulder again, drunk with delight.

 

“Hey...” he whispered one last time and closed his eyes, so that he could only feel the body against his and the breath on his neck, to lock himself in this bubble of safety and comfort. The older man started rubbing small soothing circles on his back and gently led him back behind the table where his laptop screen was still bright and his coffee getting cold. He let Stiles sit in the booth while trying to wipe away his tears with the back of his hand and crouched down in front of him, always looking at the younger man with this soft but amused expression and a small smirk.

 

“Missed me ?” he teased before stepping back when Stiles batted him away with a last quiet sob and a smile on his face, avoiding his gaze.

 

“Go buy a drink or whatever while I pull myself together” Stiles told him, voice unsteady, and then added a muffled "asshole" between his hands, still rubbing his flushed cheeks.

 

Derek gave him one more smirk and walked to the counter. During this time Stiles closed his computer lid to put it away in his messenger bag, guessing he wouldn't be needing it anymore, sniffed a couple times and brought his coffee to his lips to sip the more cold than warm beverage. Ew.

He watched Derek come back to the booth with two new steaming cups, yet not believing the man was really _here_ , in _Washington_ , where _Stiles attended college_. _After more than a year and a half without any contact._ He put his coffee back on the table and silently observed his hands. He didn't remember falling asleep during the day. The number of his fingers was right. It had to be real.

But how _could_ it be real ?

How could Derek have found him ?

His thoughts were interrupted by the mentioned man reaching his table and placing the beverages on it.

  
“Fancy seeing you here.” Stiles greeted, trying to sound nonchalant despite his puffy eyes and cracking voice. The wolf snorted while sitting down on the chair opposite his and slid one of the cups toward the younger man, earning himself a surprised look.

 

“I already have one” he said, pointing to his cold coffee.

 

“Yeah, like you're gonna drink that.”

 

“Like hell I'm gonna drink that !" he exclaimed. "That'd be waste ! Plus, I already paid for it, and I don't exactly have a lot of money to throw around.”

Derek watched him aggressively grab the cup with a very amused but slightly curious expression, and Stiles silently wondered how things were this easy between them, even after their long separation.

  
“If you drink that in one go, I'll buy you one of these doughy-diabetes of your choice” the werewolf challenged, indicating with his thumb the displays of pastries behind his back.

 

“Deal” he accepted solemnly, shifting in his seat and bringing the drink closer.

 

Derek smirked again, lifting one of his famous eyebrows, his eyes glinting dangerously.

“Game's on” he announced as Stiles immediately threw his head back and started to drink, _inhale_ , in big gulps.

He finished it in record time and slammed triumphantly the now empty cup on the table with a wide grin. The other man looked even more amused than before, if not a little impressed. Or disgusted. Both. Yeah, totally both.

  
“I want a cinnamon roll” he announced anyway, slumping back against his seat and watching the werewolf get up to go buy his treat.

  
This was not how he had imagined meeting Derek again, but he was absolutely thrilled with the way things were going considering he thought he'd only see him again in an apocalyptic situation where either he or Scott's pack needed urgent help. The idea that when he left with Braeden was the last time he'd ever see him for the rest of his life had haunted him since that day, but he didn't want to think about it. He already had enough somber things to deal with.

  
A part of him still didn't believe any of this was real, but he wanted to believe it. He wanted it to be real. He wanted the werewolf to actually be here, and hug him, and buy him a coffee and a _cinnamon_ _bun_ and tease him and banter and smirk and challenge him into stupid things like they were normal friends and not supernatural-fighting-partners who hadn't talked to each other for months. He was too scared to check his hands again, not wanting it to disappear and to conserve selfishly this dream for a bit longer. Just to feel good for a moment. Just to feel happy and safe and to forget his worries and fears. Just for a moment. He didn't even care that he'd be so hurt and miserable when this tiny peace would vanish away. He only wanted the relief.

Soon Derek came back with a small paper bag and set it in front of Stiles before sitting down again. Stiles pushed his thoughts away and beamed at him while opening the packet, before retrieving the sugary goodness from it.

  
“Didn't want one ?” he asked the other absently, too occupied by contemplating the perfectly baked dough rolls and the gooey stuffing sticking between the layers.

 

“Do I look like someone who eats cinnamon buns ?”

 

The younger man looked up before shrugging and taking a bite of the heavenly good pastry with an appreciative hum.

“ I guess not” he said after he chewed and took a sip of his hot coffee. “You look more like someone who eats rabbits, y'know. Poor tiny things... But it wouldn't surprise me either.” He drank a bit more. ”You're a very surprising person, yes you are. For example : you just surprised me by appearing here out of nowhere, y'know...”

 

He didn't ask the question, but Derek answered it nonetheless, like he was reading his thoughts.

 

“I... When Braeden left, I went to South America for a while. To see Cora, and her pack. I stayed there some time, well, I only left a few weeks ago to be precise... But I didn't, I... I wasn't ready to go back to Beacon Hills... Not yet. So I decided to go to New York, stay in the city again, and then visit other places, as I never really took the time to explore when I lived there with Laura... And it brought me here, and I caught your scent- don't look at me like that it's not _that_ creepy" he added defensively. Stiles just laughed. "So yeah, I tracked you for two days or so, and then I found you."

Stiles nodded with understanding, having his mouth full, and they sat there in a comfortable silence, drinking their drinks, before he finished his bun and explained he was just here for college before starting to talk about his pre-FBI program and his life on the university's campus. Derek listened with a interested ear, as if stupid college drama was something worth his all of his attention. He placed a few comments and laughs here and there, asking more questions, to which Stiles always answered with another story or a funny anecdote.

  
A entire hour later, the coffee shop was now totally empty of customers and the two young baristas were starting to wash the tables and to close the shop.

 

"Oh" Stiles realized when he looked up. "We should probably leave..."

Derek nodded and gathered the empty cups and the paper bag to throw them in the appropriate recycling bins as Stiles picked up his pack and waited at the door, where the werewolf quickly joined him after he offered a brief "sorry, goodbye" to the employees.

 

 

 

Nights of September fell quickly, the sky was already colored with soft pinks and thin clouds were obscuring the stars. The moon hid behind the brume, only its light betraying its position.  
But none of the two men were paying attention to picture above them. Instead they stopped on the pavement, facing each other, and Stiles stuffed his hands in the pockets's of his hoodie, trying to protect them from the autumn's cold.

  
"Sooo..." he started awkwardly, bouncing on the ball of his feet. "You've got somewhere to stay ?"

  
"I have an hotel room, a few streets away." Derek replied. "Is your campus far from here ?"

  
"Yeah...No ! I- I guess, like twenty minutes ? Fifteen maybe ? ...Ten ?"

  
Derek arched a mocking eyebrow, which _rude_ , but then smiled gently at him and nudged the student with his shoulder.

 

"Lead the way then, I'll walk you."

 

Stiles beamed and joined him, unable to erase the smile off his face. They soon fell into an easy silence, only the sound of their footsteps and the quiet hush of shifting fabric resonated between the walls of the city. The distant rumbling of the urban nightlife was breathing behind their backs, the street they were crossing desert of animation, a lamppost sizzling, a TV emission muffled by a window, a cat disappearing behind a corner. It was nice. Stiles had learned to appreciate silence more. The teenager from years ago would have been babbling since they'd left the shop, uneasy about the quietness and feeling the need to fill it with words, to give the moment more importance with a story or a random fact he'd thought was necessary for the other person to know. Always associate two things together, and fill the time.

  
But Stiles had changed. He had learned to take life more slowly. Since supernatural had turned out to be real, he's been in a constant rush. Always analyzing everything, thinking about clues, trying to find solutions, stay alive, worrying about other people's lives, and keeping a decent teenage life at the same time. Everything had been so loud, so full of actions and violence. His mind had been racing, fast, fast, fast. The voices in his head never shutting up. Aware of every single noise. Constantly on edge.

  
He was convinced he would fall.

But then a new danger and its new problems arrived, he couldn't even think about how bad he was doing because everything kept him away from himself. He didn't have a life anymore, it had just become a never-ending drop in darkness and danger and blood and death.

And the end of high school was suddenly there, when he hadn't even seen all of this time passing.

 

So he left.

 

He liked silence.

 

He liked to be alone.

 

He had just needed a break.

 

He was on his way to be okay again.

 

He was aware of his own existence again.

 

At least.


	2. Deep night and small room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After leaving the coffee shop, Derek and Stiles head off to the campus and the werewolf can't help noticing a few things about the human walking next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the new chapter ! Not a lot is happening in it, but I still hope you'll enjoy it :)
> 
> Again, feel free to let me know if there's any mistake I need to correct, and also to tell me what you think of my work !

It felt surreal, so utterly surreal, to walk in the middle of the capital when the sun was already gone and the streets empty. Cities at night always gave Derek an uneasy feeling. These places were filled with animation and people by day, drumming with energy and life, the noises loud and obnoxious. But once the black curtain fell, it was like an aura of darkness and fear had chased everyone, emptied every corner of its brightness and made the people hurry back inside. Then only predators were seen. Lurking in alleys and filling the space between walls with a feeling of insecurity and danger, causing every other poor human to tremble with cold and anxiousness, fiddling with their keys in a attempt to create a weapon between their fingers and make them feel a bit more confident, even with the dark everywhere around them. All become prey.

  
Derek could almost compare those cities to Stiles.

Stiles, once a spastic, hyperactive kid, shining with malice and bad jokes, filled with animation, drumming with energy and life, loud and obnoxious, became the prey.

 

  
The man walking by his side now was not the same teenager anymore. He still had kept his defensive sarcasm, bright childish attitude and clumsy movements, but the weight of everything he's been through was showing, so, so much Derek felt physical hurt in his stomach every time he noticed a new feature on the boy.

  
Like how _relieved_ he looked and smelled when he first saw Derek standing in front of him, or how he had counted his fingers repeatedly again and again, seemingly without being aware he was doing it, even as they were walking, and Derek wondered for how long it had been such an habit for him to constantly check reality. The dark circles under his eyes and trembling in his hands hadn't left since he was possessed. But the worst was certainly how _calm_ he seemed, despite his emotions boiling inside that Derek could feel emanating from his body and hitting his surroundings with an incredible power.

  
He wasn't calm in an assured or relaxed way, no, he was calm in an disconcerting, absent, manner.

  
His amber eyes still held the intelligence and humor from years ago, but their vividness and curiousness were gone. They weren't darting anymore, like the world around him lost its importance, but instead they looked tired, bored, as if they'd already seen everything and too much. His entire being looked tired, even. The creases on his forehead had deepened severely since the last time Derek had seen him and the resting position of his eyebrows had gone from unimpressed to slightly concerned and pained. His lips, before always hanging open without a care, had changed into a severe, pinched line. His arms weren't the same too long flailing limbs, instead they had moved from their position -straight, hard, pressed against his sides and tucked in his pockets- only for him to unfold his fingers one by one and silently mouth the numbers as he counted them every other minute. He was still walking in this ridiculous way, jerking his legs to the side like a cowboy would, but his steps were slower, more hesitant, although he was the one guiding them through the city.

 

  
And he wasn't talking. _He wasn't talking_. He hadn't uttered a word since they'd left the coffee shop, and Derek didn't know what to do about it. Even inside the boutique, even as he was explaining his college life, he had left out so many parts and had took pauses in his stories a second too long for the wolf to not notice his hesitancy. Did he simply lose his need to babble during every single second of his life and was acting more like a normal human being, or wasn't he saying anything because he was too lost in his own head, rummaging through his thoughts, questions, worries, problems, fears ? Was something really broken inside of him ?

 

 

He lost his confidence, Derek realized.

 

The world had become too much for him. Everything he knew had been proven wrong by supernatural. He couldn't trust anything. He must feel ignorant, useless, numb. Nothing seemed important anymore. Nobody was strong enough. Nothing was safe anymore. No hope was left.

  
The kid had lost his optimism, and somehow learning it destroyed a small part of Derek's own.

  
He glanced at the human beside him, now almost as tall as himself, and wished he could just erase the trauma from the man's mind. He wondered how far the damage went, and a wave of guilt rushed over him. He felt so sorry. Stiles had just been a normal teenager, he didn't ask to get involved in all this supernatural stuff and see his friends _get hurt and die in front of him._

 

Just as he was about to break the silence, he saw him shiver, and only took notice at this moment how freezing it must be for a human.

 

"You cold ?" he asked, going for nonchalance.

 

Stiles jerked his head up at him, looking surprised, before shrugging and stuffed his hands deeper in his pockets. "We're almost at the campus anyway." He said, like it answered anything.

Derek hummed absently, and simply kept walking.

 

"Why ?" Stiles teased after a moment with a shit-eating grin. "Do you actually care about me ? Do you actually have feelings ?"

 

"I was going to suggest you run the rest of the way, so it'll warm you up and we'll have more than two meters between us, which is always a perk." Lie.

 

The younger man snorted ridiculously loud and took a turn left, thus revealing the George Washington University's campus, surrounded by so much green and so many trees. You could almost forget you were in the middle of a city there. It looked nice, peaceful.

 

When they reached the entrance, Stiles looked extremely nervous for whatever reason, but Derek didn't say anything about it. They'd stopped walking, the boy was looking at his shoes, while the wolf observed composedly the area.

 

  
"Mount Vernon Campus..." he read quietly from the sign, feeling a slight ache in his stomach at the name of his deceased beta, even after all these years.

 

"Yeah... I- I didn't know if... Oh well it's stupid but... I couldn't chose any other campus. I don't know. Guess it's my way to remember him you know ?" the student admitted shyly.

 

Derek nodded seriously, still staring at the words, and tried to not think to much about how he missed his lost pack, and how it hurt that _he let them die_. He finally tore his eyes from the plaque and turned to the teen, who was fiddling with the end of one of his sleeves and not daring to look up.

 

It suddenly dawned on him that now that they were at the campus, they'd have to split up for the night and find how they were going to see each other again, _if_ they were going to see each other again. Going back to his comfortable hotel room didn't seem appealing at all. He just got Stiles back, he wasn't about to leave him. Again.

Just as he was about panic, the Stilinski kid started talking :  
"Well, so here we are." He announced awkwardly, slowly. "I was wondering if you, I mean if you want, you can totally refuse, if you want, but eemm... Maybe you could, you know, stay with me ? In my dorm room ?"

  
Without even taking the time to think about it, Derek found himself saying say yes and smiling back to an overjoyed Stiles, before heading to his hall at the other side of the park painted in black. He wouldn't have refused anyway.

  
Some students were still hanging outside the buildings here and there, but nobody paid them attention, to his relief.

  
"Is it even allowed ?" he still inquired as they were walking.

  
"Yes, but only for four nights."

 

"And will your roommate be okay with it ?"

 

"I don't have a roommate" The human answered, swallowing thickly. Here was the nervousness again.

  
"You don't ?" he asked curiously.

 

"No, no. I had one before, but then we- I decided that it's best if I don't have a roommate..."

 

The werewolf didn't press the question, the teen seeming to not want to talk about it, despite his interrogations about the reasons of this decision. So he just nodded in the dark and they soon arrived at the door of a brick building.

  
Stiles opened the door and held it for Derek. The latter then followed quietly the student up the stairs to the top floor and across the hallway to the furthest room. He observed quietly the bare corridor while the other rummaged through his messenger bag in search of his keys.

  
There were only six closed doors, and an open one with what looked like common bathrooms behind it.

As if to confirm  his thoughts, a girl came out of it with her pajamas on and her hands up her head tying her hair in a ponytail. She shoot him a surprised look and glanced at Stiles, who seemed frustrated as he fumbled with his keys, before letting a smirk appear on her face, that reminded Derek too much of Erica. The knot in his belly immediatley returned.

  
"Having company, Stilinski ?"

  
Said Stilinski jumped at her voice and swiftly turned around. His heartbeat was drumming fast, and he had smelled genuinely afraid for a moment. _Trauma_ , his brain repeated bitterly. The werewolf stored that information in the back of his head : no surprising Stiles anymore.

  
The other student apparently saw his not-totally-normal reaction too, as a shadow of guilt appeared over her face before it disappeared as fast as it came and the teasing expression was back. Good. At least his human had a sympathetic person near him, who seemed to be aware he wasn't exactly in a perfect mental state, but wasn't about to show him pity or treat him differently.

 

"Oh god, no !" He groaned. "He's not- _You know I have a girlfriend_ ! He's a friend. A long time-not seen friend, even. Derek's just- I just put him up for the night."

 

The werewolf nodded his agreement despite missing a few pieces, but the girl kept smirking until she disappeared in a room with a last smug "Good night guys !". He liked her, he decided.

  
Finally, Stiles managed to open his door with a triomphal sigh and stepped in, showing the room in a dramatic gesture of the arm and grinning proudly at the older man.

  
"Welcome to my humble abode !"

  
Derek gave him an unimpressed look as he passed him and went to stood in the middle of his place.

 

❈

  
It was a rather small, simple room, almost rectangular, if it wasn't for the concave corners opposite the entrance that lined with the shape of the building. A bed was tucked between one of these bumps and two other regular walls, as far as possible from the door, and just under a vertical window that reached out of the sloping ceiling. Next to the entrance stood two embedded closets, and in front of them, pressed against another wall, was a desk of fake wood with its assorted chair and a wastepaper basket . A blue couch was laying across the room and facing the bed, its back against the border of the table. The usual college mini fridge had been placed in a corner of the uneven facades and was buzzing distractedly. The walls were bare, which was surprising, seeing how overflowing they were in his old bedroom in Beacon Hills, but only for a cork board to hang above the bed, in such a way that you could see the pictures pinned on it when you were lying.

It wasn't really messy, just for a few soda cans resting here and there -mostly near the couch- some clothes laying on the ground or thrown on the back of the seats, and school paper and books pilling up on the desk and the bunk. It didn't exactly smell clean, but it was livable. It smelled mostly of Stiles and junk food, which wasn't as bad as it sounded.

  
"It's nice." He offered after having taken in everything.

 

"It is." Stiles acknowledged absently while shrugging his bag of and placing it on the floor near the desk. He quickly joined Derek in the middle of the room and stood facing him, looking distracted. The werewolf raised an expectant eyebrow at him, and it finally made the younger man snap out of his thoughts with a head jerk.

 

"Oh yeah ! You can use my things, for the night." He declared as he was already opening one of the closets and searching through his wardrobe. "I should actually have clothes that'll fit you now that I'm all grown up and adulte-y !"

  
Derek snorted and crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for him to find something. "Unlike the cousin Miguel thing then ?"

 

The other man laughed loudly at that, trowing his head back, and hearing it again filled his chest with warmth. Stiles' genuine, real laugh seemed to be a rare thing these days. Surely enough, he had chuckled and grinned a lot of times this evening, but this, him bursting out loud obtrusively, so much he had to give up his searching and brace himself on the wall to avoid falling on the ground, having difficulties to catch his breath, _this_. This had been missing, and Derek guessed it had been for longer than today.

  
"Oh god yes !" He managed to gush. "With Danny, man, that was the best thing ! You were so furious, like you were going to murder me right in front of him, oh god..."

 

"I still bashed your head in a steering wheel afterwards." The lycan supplied, but that only made the kid laugh again just as he was calming down.

  
Derek couldn't hold back his own amusement at the memories either, letting himself smile broadly and it felt good, to joke about it. To allow things to be easy just for a moment. Like they didn't have the weight of the world on their shoulders. Like they hadn't suffered so much loss that they'd be scarred for life. Like their lives weren't as dangerous and difficult as they were.

Like things were okay.

 

"Aaah good times..." Stiles sighed happily as he let himself slide on the floor, his face red and probably hurting, his heart rate still going crazy.

 

They stayed like this for a bit longer, eyes fond as they remembered their beginning and were getting their breathing back at normal.

 

"Man I'm too excited to go to sleep now !" The kid complained from his position on the ground.

 

"Then we can already get ready and maybe watch a movie or something ?" The wolf suggested hesitantly and waited for the other to nod before saying "Give me the clothes now."

 

The student snorted and got up to grab a shirt and sweatpants, that he threw at Derek with a hurried "Bathroom's down the hall ! Wait ! I think I have a spare one- Just let me... Here." He put a Superman toothbrush and toothpaste in his hand. "Here you go !"

  
The older man gave him a small analytical thanks before turning around and exit the room, heading to the door the girl came out of earlier with a smile plastered on his face.

 

He hadn't felt this good, this free, for years, and as selfish as it was, he wanted more of it.

 

He had a feeling that he'd let himself be okay for a time.

 

Or even that he was on his way to be okay again.

 

As long as Stiles walked the way with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually going on holidays for two weeks tomorrow, so I won't be able to write anything I'm sorry.  
> You'll just have to be patient, and enjoy the first episodes of the show without me if you're planning on watching it :)
> 
> Have an awesome summer everyone !


	3. Dirty sheets and  bloody swords

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How the boys spend their evening

Stiles watched with a smile as Derek disappeared in the bathroom, before heading to the bed and suddenly realizing that, yes, the werewolf was going to have to sleep on his bed. He couldn't let him have the couch, what an host he would be.

  
He really should have thought more before inviting him in his room.

With a sigh, he pushed up the covers of his unmade bed and contemplated if he should bother one of his neighbors and ask them for clean sheets. Because of course he didn't have a second bedding. And oh-

  
He didn't have another blanket, nor a pillow. Stiles needed those. Would Derek need them ? _Of course_ he'd need them, come on Stiles, he's still a person. A nice person, even. Nicer than before.

  
He groaned. He really should have given it more thought. With a defeated slump of his shoulders he got out of his room and quickly decided which one of his dorm mates he was going to ask. Clara. Clara surely had something to lend him, and was likely still awake since they'd just run into her.

 

  
Three knocks, a muffled "I'm coming !", several seconds, a door swinging open and a blond haired girl appeared in front of him, a wide welcoming smile on her face.

"Stiles !" she greeted him cheerily, as if his presence was truly delighting her. "You need something ?"

  
"Hey...Uh, yeah." he answered awkwardly, rubbing his neck. "Do you have an extra pillow, and a blanket, to lend me ? Please ?"

  
"Oh ! Sure, just wait a second !"

 

He surged forward to grab the door as it was closing again, not sure if he was supposed to hold it open while she was rummaging through her room- or more likely just finding the things easily in the place they belonged to since she had her life put together at an impossible level- rather than let it shut. Maybe put his foot in it ? That would be weird, and what would he do with his hands ? Dammit why were doors such a big deal ?

With a shiver he realized what a big deal doors _were_ indeed and he froze in his move, letting it close, overwhelmed by painful memories. But before he could find himself panicking completely, Clara reappeared before him, without even caring about having to push open the door, and put a folded fluffy blanket and a comfortable looking pillow in his arms.

"There you go ! You can give them back whenever you want, I won't need them." she offered with her bright smile, almost comparable to Scott's own. He missed Scott.

"Thank you so much Clara ! I owe you one !"

"Naah, my pleasure. Really. Just wash them if you get any _substance_ in it, okay ?"

It took him a moment to register that she _wasn't_ talking about soda or toothpaste, her smirk and knowing expression helping a bit, before he almost dropped the things on the floor in his hast to flail defensively.

"What ? _No_ !" he sputtered indignantly. "God why do you think- Dammit Clara ! I'd never- _He'd_ never- Eww...I still got Lydia, I told you ! He- We- No !"

She just laughed and gave him a "whatever Stilinski" that he had already received too many times in his life before closing the damn door, leaving the man to get back to his own room.

  
Derek came inside as he finished picking up the mess on his couch to abandon it lazily on his desk where the borrowed bedding was already lying. The wolf was dressed in his clothes, fitting quite surprisingly, putting his toothbrush hesitantly on the now almost overflowing table along with the tube of paste. It looked oddly domestic, and very strange, to see the werewolf in a context other than violently serious and life threatening. Sometimes he forgot that the man actually had a life between fights and running away from monsters, and he suddenly became aware that he didn't know him, at all.

  
Sure he knew what happened in his life, how he lost his first love -he still had to ask him about that by the way- and his family, how he was used and hurt again and again, how he had lost everything and everyone, how he hadn't been able to rebuild a pack and almost died so many times. He knew how precious and important the trust he had allowed Stiles to take from him was, and how easily he could destroy Derek for good if he broke that bond. He knew how poisonous Beacon Hills had become for him, once a home, then a city sized cemetery of people and dreams.

  
He didn't really knew any positive thing about him. He once played basketball, he loved Chinese food, drank coffee, seemed to get better along the years...

 

That last one counted as a good thing, he decided.

 

Now thinking about the Derek Hale he first met in the woods and how he had acted over time, he could clearly see the evolution of his character.

He definitely got calmer, less angry, more trustful, less grumpy, more relaxed, less violent, happier, less guilty. When he last saw him he had allowed himself to get away from his misery and take off with Braeden, who was genuinely good for him and not a psychopath using him for her own good.

  
Stiles found himself all of sudden _proud_ of the guy standing in his room.

  
So proud it was probably radiating off his skin, considering Derek noticed the swift change of emotion and turned to him with an questionning arched eyebrow.

  
"Yes !" he opted to ignore what he was just thinking and therefore avoid any questions that would probably be difficult to answer without making things awkward. "So, you take the bed, since you definitively won't fit on the couch with all your wolfy muscles, aaannnd- I forgot the sheets dammit !" Of course he had. Why couldn't something go well for once ? "I can still go borrow some, 'cause I don't have any clean ones and god knows what I didn't already spill on th-"

  
"Stiles." Derek cut him. "Don't go bother your friend again, it's okay. I've already slept on worse, and it doesn't smell that bad, really. No _substance_ detected here."

  
"Oh god. So you heard that- of course you heard that ! I don't know _why_ she would think that-" he groaned with his hands on his face. "God, stop smirking you asshole. I hate you, and her ! I hate you both so much right now. Jeez. Why can't she- I told her ! You were there, I told her you were a friend ! _It's not my fault she keeps assuming things_ !"

  
His rambling and profound embarrassment seemed to amuse the werewolf a lot, but luckily he stopped Stiles' humiliation before his skin burned off entirely of shame.

 

"It's okay." he repeated and added after a second : "So, Lydia ?"

 

The younger man exhaled with relief, a goofy smile appearing on his face at the mention of his girlfriend. He missed her too.

 

"Yeah." he answered dreamily. "The ten year plan finally worked you know ? She couldn't resist my incredible charm for any longer I guess."

  
Derek's only response was a snort, and then he was walking to the bed, efficiently reminding the college student to get himself back in the present.

 

"Right, so a movie ?" He went to take his laptop out of his messenger bag and put it on the sofa while turning it on. "You can choose something while I'm changing. I don't have Netflix, but a free, illegal, streaming website can do the work just as good ! I hope you have good tastes."

The werewolf approached the computer after he finished doing what suspiciously looked like inspecting Stiles' bed -despite having approved it a minute ago-, just as the latter was sliding out of the room and abruptly stopped.

  
"You know how to use a computer right ?"

 

"Fuck off Stiles."

 

❈

 

When he came back from the bathroom, Derek had installed his laptop on the bed, the sofa being close enough that they would be able to watch the screen without a problem, a movie charging on the page Stiles had previously opened.

 

"Ha ha ! Lord of the Rings, I knew I could trust you to pick something good !"

 

He joined the wolf on the couch, trying to not be weirded out by the fact that they were casually watching a film together, nor by how close they were sitting in his little, cramped sofa. But if nothing, the closeness was kind of nice, really. None of them seemed uncomfortable and it was reassuring to have this line of heat next to him. To hear the quiet, but deep, even breaths of the werewolf for once content, relaxed, safe.

  
"You've ever watched it ?" he asked, already reaching out to click on the space bar and start the movie.

  
Derek nodded, adding a grumbled "But it was a long time ago, I don't remember much of it."

  
The other man hummed in acknowledgment and shifted in his seat, bringing his legs up on the settee and curling around his knees. "We could watch this one today, and follow with the rest of the trilogy on other days, if you want to."

  
Before he realized that they'd never talked about staying together for more than a night -that really made it sound like a one night stand, thank you Clara- and could stutter a excuse, the lycan replied that they could, his voice soft and sounding a little absent. He probably had assumed that they wouldn't leave each other for a while too, and it made Stiles feel all kind of warm and fuzzy inside. He leaned contently on the arm of the couch and focused on the screen.

  
❈

 

"This one's Harris." Stiles decided, pointing at another orc and Derek laughed.

 

"The one beside is Peter, looks evil." and the Stilinski man approved of a serious nod.

 

❈

  
"We've already fought worse than that." he said in a false pretentious voice.

  
"Sissies." the older man replied in the same tone and Stiles burst out laughing, quickly joined by his companion.

  
They didn't stop for a while.

  
❈

 

Between inappropriate puns and throwing bad jokes every minute, Derek probably didn't retain a lot of the actual story, but by the redness of his cheeks and the constant smile on his face, he didn't seem to mind.

  
"Time to go to sleep !" the wolf announced as he stood up and picked up the laptop, leaving Stiles sprawled on the couch. They had touched each other more in these almost four hours than in their entire life prior to this evening, at the point where the younger one ended up crossing his calves over Derek's lap, without receiving any complaint. It's been a long time since Stiles had felt this at ease with someone, probably even more for the werewolf.

  
His relationship with Scott had stayed quite... Stiff, after the Theo drama. They had forgiven each other and were again the brothers they'd always been, but this shadow of unease and doubt had haunted Stiles since then. Probably his best friend didn't feel the same way, the sheriff's son had always been more difficult, distrustful, when it came to relationships. He had this tendency to analyze and judge everyone, not allowing them to come closer before he had approved them. From his recent new friends, Malia was the only one he hadn't evaluated before letting her enter in his life, probably because he wasn't in the best mental state at the time. But luckily she turned out to be an awesome person, so no worries here.

  
He thought back to this conversation he had with Scott about the benefit of the doubt, and how he had named Liam, Kira and Derek.

 

Derek was a special case.

 

For sure he had been wary of him at the beginning, the man was a violent, creepy, angry werewolf and lived in _ruins_. He didn't trust him, and Derek didn't trust them in return.  
But yet, they still had worked together to eliminate the danger, more of necessity than friendly collaboration. And the guy hadn't respected Stiles boundaries. It's not like he had a choice but letting him take anything he wanted. He had been forced to cooperate and look out for him. He needed him to survive. And Derek needed Stiles to survive. Well, Scott and him.

  
But then it had changed to "wanted him to survive", at the point where it became a "needed him to survive" again.

  
So Stiles never gave him the benefit of the doubt. One day they met, the next they were saving each other's asses. That was it. And from there their relationship had evolved into a great, trust based, friendship, hence sharing a tiny couch and bantering with a movie playing in background.

  
Stiles was abruptly brought back to the present, where there was no longer couch sharing nor movie playing, by a pillow slamming against his face, quickly followed by a blanket landing on him and entirely covering his face.

  
"I'm gonna kill you." he menaced as he slowly peeled the of the fluffy sheet off him, before getting up with what he hoped an intimidating glare.

  
By the dubious eyebrow lift he received, he hadn't quite succeeded.

  
"You have class tomorrow." Derek reminded him calmly, as if he wasn't the one who started it.

  
God, they were such children.

 

"How d'you know that ?" he caught on after giving him an annoyed eye roll.

  
The werewolf simply pointed to the closed door where he had hung his timetable on. Right. He had forgotten he even put that here.

  
He laid down on the couch, trying to find a way to fit completely in it and ended up on his side in an almost fetal position, his kneed folded in front of him. A glance at his phone told him it was already way past midnight and _way_ too late for a school night. He wouldn't have been asleep on a normal night anyway. Sleep was something he just had given up for years now. Maybe it was because of his Adderall and the coffee he had taken to drink in unhealthy quantities ? Mixing these too couldn't be good in any way. He should probably look up that one of these days.

  
Suddenly the room went dark. He inhaled sharply in a panicked jump and was already trembling nervously when he turned around to see a dark shadow standing near the light switch, immobile.

  
"D- Derek ?"

 

His voice was shaky, breathless, high-pitched.

  
"Stiles, are you okay ?"

  
He sounded worried, why was he worried ?

  
"Yeah, yeah. I was just surprised. I zoned out I guess, didn't see you crossing the room." he explained with an apologetic shrug.

  
"I'm sorry." He seemed really sorry. "I didn't mean to scare you."

  
"You didn't _scare_ _me_." the younger man retorted defensively. "Just surprised. It's no big deal. Come on. I want to sleep."

  
He hadn't wanted to snap at the wolf, but he didn't have a lot of control over his body at the moment. He silently hated himself for overreacting like this, it was just a stupid light. He wasn't scared of the dark for fuck's sake. It was probably because of the lack of sleep. Maybe the Adderall and coffee. 

  
Derek was on the bed in an instant, facing Stiles who was laying down again, tucking the blanket under his chin.

  
"Are you sure you'll be able to sleep on this ?"

 

"No. But you wouldn't either."

  
"I don't have a class tomorrow morning." The older man replied.

  
"It's okay dude. I'm used to live on coffee, I'll be fine."

  
He didn't want Derek to ask why he usually had to drink cafein to get energy. And he certainly didn't want him to force Stiles to take the bed and fold himself in the sofa, or even lie on the floor, looking pathetic and sending the student in a black hole of guilt.

  
The werewolf turned on his back, facing the wall with the cork-board, his mouth opening to say something.

  
"Don't call me dude."

 

With a smirk on his lips, Stiles closed his eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it ! Please leave a kudo or a comment if you'd want, I'll always be happy to receive any kind of feedback !
> 
> And thank you to those who already liked this work, I'll post the next chapter soon :)


	4. Black curtain and solid words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles can't sleep, Derek notices and long conversations ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello !  
> Here's a new chapter, pretty short like always (I try to make them about 2000 words long just so you know) and not a lot happens like always.  
> But there's fluff !  
> And need I remind you that this is a totally platonic relationship, don't expect any romance (or sex).  
> But what you do need to expect is a lot of mistakes, and I'm sorry again !
> 
> I'll try to post the next chapter as soon as possible :)

They'd been in bed for maybe an hour of Stiles constantly shifting positions and exhaling profoundly before Derek broke the silence.

  
"Is it because I'm here or because you're on the sofa that you can't lie still ?"

 

The kid froze in his attempt to turn on his back for the umpteenth time, maybe not expecting the werewolf to still be awake. But how could he have not been ? To his ears the slightest movement was loud and the teenager was making a lot of noise at the moment.

And he was also not answering, which was somewhat disconcerting.

 

"Stiles ?"

  
Maybe he sent him into panic again. He shouldn't have talked without warning him and reminding him of his presence before. He fucking shouldn't have.

But the thing was, Stiles _wasn't_ panicking. His heartbeat was thumping at a normal rate. His breathing went silent and restrained at Derek's first question, as if he wanted to disappear, but it wasn't shaky and rapid. It looked more Stiles didn't want to answer the question, and tried to avoid it by making himself invisible. If that was even possible when he was faced with a werewolf.

  
"You don't really sleep at night, do you ?" he asked softly in a tone that told the human he wouldn't judge him.

  
The student finally exhaled and slumped back against the couch, letting one arm fall to the side, his knuckles brushing against the wooden floor.

  
"No. Not really."

  
"Is it because of nightmares ?"

  
At that the teen turned his head to stare at Derek, despite not being able to see anything with his human eyes.

  
"How do you know about them ?" he inquired quietly, in a more private manner than anything he'd ever said. And the wolf got it. He understood that it was not something Stiles talked about. It was not something he wanted to admit to anyone, including himself. Nightmares were never something you wanted to share, to remember. It was something you buried in your memories and hoped it never came back at the surface, because they held too much darkness, too many of your worst fears, too much regret. Because they made you so vulnerable. It was like someone took everything you didn't want to think about and everything you thought about too much, and put them together to force them in front of your eyes and just take pleasure in seeing you shatter under their control.

Except that this someone was you. And that your mind was the only thing hurting you, the only thing wanting to hurt you, with your _own_ memories.

Nightmares didn't stop before you accepted it wasn't your fault. That you didn't deserve to suffer. That you weren't guilty.

 

And he couldn't even imagine what it was like for Stiles.

 

His own mind kept torturing him when his mother died losing hers, when a demon _possessed_ _it_ and made him believe that, he too, went insane.

  
The poor kid really was his own enemy.

 

"I don't." He admitted, voice low. "You just told me."

 

It wasn't exactly true. He wasn't dumb. He had guessed the teenager didn't get enough sleep. His eyes were too tired and the bruises under them were too dark. He apparently made an habit of drinking coffee in the evening -caffeine didn't affect werewolves, so Derek wasn't worried about himself- and even admitted that he "ran on coffee". But his lack of attention was the most obvious.

  
Of course Stiles had always been a very easily distracted person, but what he had observed today was much more than this.

He constantly zoned out. A minute of silence and the kid was already far gone, lost in his thoughts. At the point where he didn't even seem aware of what he was doing. How many times Derek had turned around just to see him stay motionless, eyes absent and a small frown on his face ? Or how he was counting his fingers all the time ? He did it more as they were walking outside, but if hadn't stopped since they got in the dorm either. Sometimes he wasn't even watching his hands, as if the move was embedded in his digits. It scared him to admit that maybe Stiles never got back completely the control of his body.

  
And he was also forgetting a lot of things. Or at least didn't think about them. In addition to inviting Derek in here without giving a thought about anything else -the wolf didn't have any of his stuff, there wasn't even enough place in the room for two people to sleep and he didn't have another set of bedding-, he also forgot to ask for clean sheets when he went to this girl, Clara, and didn't even check if he had any class the next day. Fortunately the werewolf was there to set an alarm for him, since he never did it himself.

 

  
"Well now you know." The teenager sighed. "If I manage to actually fall asleep, usually of utter exhaustion, then I'm woken up by them."

  
Derek wanted to say something. He wanted to tell him about his own restless nights since the fire, about his vision of flames and cruel laughs and his family crawling to him, chanting that it was his fault, that everything was his fault, that they'd never forgive him for it. He wanted to tell him about the entire nights he stayed awake when he came back to Beacon Hills and worried, worried about his new pack and worried about himself when Jennifer arrived and he was _used_ again. He wanted to tell him about how he didn't bother trying to sleep when the Nogitsune possessed him because he couldn't waste any minute not looking for him. And how the situation made him so anxious and terrified, how he also had nightmares about it. Until Kate came back, and he had the first dream he'd ever had in a long time. And everything got better since then.

  
"But actually it's kinda a good thing." Stiles continued, but it seemed forced. "You'd never imagine the number of hours I gain per night. More time to work !"

  
"I don't think you can really do any work when you're sleep deprived." He countered cautiously.

  
"I'm _not_ -" The boy started to protest but stopped himself. "I'm not... _Really_ sleep deprived...Am I ?"

  
He had asked it slowly, full of doubt and hesitancy.

Because that was it.

Stiles always had a bad view of himself. Where he was the best at reading people and anticipate their actions, he was awful at seeing and understanding things when it came to himself.

Maybe it was because he always put other people before him and worried about them, without sparing the smallest glance at his own health. Hell, he probably didn't even think that he could be having PTSD. He surely just found an excuse, something normal, to justify his behavior and nightmares because he didn't want to think he wasn't doing good. Because that would involve people getting worried, and needing to get help. Stiles didn't ask for help.

  
It was only when he was possessed by a freaking _demon_ that he admitted there was something wrong with him, that he finally understood it wouldn't just go away if he ignored it long enough. At that he started worrying about himself.

 

  
"Is this why you don't have a roommate ?" Derek asked instead of voicing his thoughts. This was a conversation they'd have later.

  
"Yes." The teen whispered.

  
"Do you want to talk about it ?"

  
Stiles stayed silent. The werewolf could see through the darkness that he was kneading his fingers together on his belly, gaze on the ceiling, unseeing. A bleak sadness over his features.

Derek could hear the lone cars passing on the roads outside. The buzzing and drumming of electricity around them. The breaths of the sleeping students in the building. Some of them were still awake, writing late papers, typing on a keyboard or watching videos, the low sounds of quiet ushering and laughs swimming through the walls and reaching his ears.

But at the moment he only wanted to concentrate on one thing. He wanted to turn off his wolf senses. He wanted to only smell the odor of deodorant and junk food like any human would in this room. He wanted to not see anything, only a black curtain hiddind everything from view, giving the moment the privacy it needed.

He wanted to only hear Stiles' voice when he said, oh so vulnerable and trustful, his shaky next words.

  
"I'm not doing well, I'm not."

 

  
"No you're not.

 

But it's okay."

  
❈

 

"Were you... After the fire, were you... Too ?"

  
"Yes."

  
"And after...What happened when you came back ?"

  
"Yes."

 

❈

 

"And you're good now ?"

  
"I'm getting there."

❈

 

"How did you get better ?"

  
He sighed.

  
"Time. Time and thinking."

  
"Thinking about what ?"

  
"Everything.

  
Accepting that some things weren't your fault.

  
Understanding that sometimes you just couldn't have done anything.

  
But you have to recognize when you did mistakes, when it _was_ your fault.

 

And forgive yourself for it."

 

❈

 

"But what can I do about... the rest ?"

  
"Are you talking about when you-"

  
"My terrors, my nightmares, my _fears_. It's not _something about me_. It's about what I _saw_ , what _happened_." He exhaled with a sob. "I just- _I can't stop_ , seeing things."

  
"Like hallucinations ?"

  
"No... No, more like, sudden flashbacks. Images. They- It just appears in my head and _I can't get them out !_ "

  
He heard someone get up in a room nearby. They smelled annoyed. He hated himself for breaking the moment, but he didn't want to disturb anyone.

  
"Stiles... We- Maybe we should talk less loudly." But he was already whispering.

  
"I can't hear you if you talk any quieter Derek." The teen huffed, and he could hear the shuddering breaths he took and see his hands rub at his wet cheeks.

  
The werewolf scooted closer to the wall, bringing the pillow and blanket with him.

  
"Then come here."

  
It only took a few seconds of hesitation before Stiles shuffled to the bed with his bedding and lied down next to him. Their shoulders and arms touched, but it wasn't bothering.

  
"You take too much place with all your wolfy muscles, I'm almost falling." The younger man complained, but there was no heat in his words.

  
"No you're not."

  
They were whispering now, and it should have been a little ridiculous, but it wasn't. Everything with Stiles this day just was... Comfortable. Easy. Natural.

  
"You know what this reminds me of ?"

  
So apparently this interlude made them switch not only positions but also conversations. The Stilinski almost smelled relieved. He did reveal a lot about himself this last hour, he had admitted some really hard things too. He probably didn't want to talk about it anymore, so Derek let him.

 

"In the police station, when we were both paralyzed on the ground."

  
The werewolf smiled at the memory.

  
"And then Matt almost crushed my throat with his shoe."

  
He wasn't bitter. He simply had the voice of someone reviving some old, happy, memories, with a feeling of nostalgia. Maybe this _was_ a -oddly- happy memory. When things were this easy.

  
"You remember the very very beginning ?" He decided to join in. "When you two idiots decided to wander through the forest in the middle of the night to find half of a corpse ?"

  
Talking about his sister didn't make him sad anymore. He had chosen to ignore the bad side of it, and instead concentrate on the bright. It helped.

  
"Yeah... And then we met !" Stiles exclaimed with a laugh -but still quietly- in a mood so different from minutes ago. "Dude you were _so_  broody. Mysterious grumpy man in the forest, chasing teenagers off."

  
"It was private property." He argued.

  
"Still ! Scott had lost his inhaler-"

  
"I gave it back, and he didn't even _need_ it anymore."

  
"Well we didn't know that at the time !"

  
"You did. But Scott's an idiot."

  
"Yeah, he is." Stiles admitted with a smile.

 

❈

 

"You always wore this stupid blazer over t-shirts."

  
"Wow ! That doesn't have anything to do with- Can we talk about this leather jacket army you formed ?"

 

❈

 

"And Scott's pitiful howl. What was that even ?"

  
"I don't know !" Stiles laughed. "But then he did it better and- _Oh_ ! Dude ! _Sourwolf_ ! I called you a sourwolf ! Oh my god I'm so gonna use it again-"

  
"Don't."

  
"You don't have a choi-"

  
Derek muffled him with his pillow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Take away and missed calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles wakes up, has class and they meet a problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I'm fucking sorry for the time it took to post this really really really short chapter !  
> But school started and wow I really don't have any free time anymore so haha I couldn't write :(  
> And this chapter was actually hard to write. I restarted it at least three times, and it still is very bad. So I'm sorry again !  
> I'm planning on posting the next chapter this weekend too, and I think it'll be the last one, so I'll try to make it good and long.
> 
> Hope you're having an amazing week !

When Stiles woke up, there was a multitude of things that were wrong.

  
First off, he had slept. Without a nightmare.

  
Then, the alarm clock that dragged him out of slumber wasn't his.

  
Finally, he wasn't alone.

 

 

It took him a moment of confusion before recognizing the body next to his as Derek's and remembering what exactly the man was doing in his bed.

With a grumble, the mentioned werewolf reached out under his pillow to turn off the music of his phone. When he took his hand back, he accidentally knocked Stiles' head and froze in his movement.

  
"Hi." The younger man offered sleepily, closing his eyes again. He was still tired, perhaps he had gotten more hours than usual but it was still not enough. At least it seemed not enough.

  
"What time is it ?" He asked with a groggy voice before the wolf had reacted, turning on his back and almost falling off the bed. There really wasn't a lot of space here. How did he manage to stay on the mattress during the night ?

  
"Eight." The other answered in his usual grumpy voice, lying on his belly with an arm under his pillow, his face hidden in it. Not a morning person then.

  
That's when it dawned on him that, not to fall on the floor, he had curled in the middle of the bed, and therefore against Derek's side. He didn't know what to think about how it was the best sleep he had had in a long time, even if it wasn't for long because they'd talked for hours, probably until Stiles fell asleep. He didn't know what to think about the fact that they shared a bed, and that he cuddled against the wolf. He didn't want to think about any of that. It was too early for these thoughts.

  
Instead he cleared his throat to chase his morning voice away -along with the unwanted emotions that always slipped into his talking- and kept staring at the ceiling, now visible under the morning light.

  
"PM or AM ?"

  
"What do you think ?" Derek grumbled into his pillow. Definitively not a morning person.

  
"I have class at nine." He realized.

  
" _Yes_. That's why I put an alarm."

  
Stiles rolled out of bed and stood up, just pausing a second to stare at the werewolf lying on the mattress, front down, before rummaging through his closet to retrieve the cleanest clothes he had along with his toiletries and dashed out of the bedroom, to the bathroom.

  
When he got there, there was already someone at a sink, brushing his teeth.

  
"Hey Hiro !" He greeted as he entered the room.

  
The other boy only nodded in response, his mouth being full of foam. Everyone on the floor was really friendly, but this dark haired student was probably the most silent of them. Stiles liked him a lot though. If they weren't so busy with their respective classes, they'd probably hang out often. But neither really had any spare time for a social life.

  
It was not that Stiles didn't have friends. Those who didn't find him weird or annoying were nice and didn't oppose to share a lunch break with him, but that's where it ended. He had good relations with his class and dorm-mates, but nothing more than a few laughs when they met, inviting each other to parties -that Stiles had always declined since he freaked out in the middle of the first one he went to- or helping out each other when they needed something. He didn't really know anyone.

Maybe he didn't want to replace his old friends. Which was stupid, since he wouldn't be replacing anyone but just adding more people in his life. But it still felt like forgetting the others. Maybe he was scared that having new friends was the first step in this process.  _If I've already found the best people in my life, why am I not trying to stay with them, you know ?_ He didn't want to forget them.  
  
Maybe he felt disconnected from the others, because they were having a normal life. They didn't know. They didn't live the same things he lived, they didn't have to fight for their lives and their friends', they didn't have to go through what he did. They didn't wake up screaming at night, they didn't see blood everywhere when there was not and feared every shadow, every movement. They didn't have PTSD.

  
Because that's what Derek explained last night. Trauma. Stiles felt stupid for not seeing it sooner, for wanting to stay in this illusion that everything was alright when it was not.

Maybe he was jealous of them. Jealous that they had it good. That they were healthy and happy and still got hope and dreams. The only dream he had left was his loved ones being okay. Not getting hurt.

  
And he felt useless, and he felt selfish, for running away to the other side of the country when his hometown kept throwing more monsters and abominations out of its dark, disgusting guts to his friends and his dad. Soon his friends would leave too, and his father would be alone, without protection.  
But he would have been pretty useless if he stayed too. If he was this broken in the safety of Washington, what would he be like when facing the danger ?

  
❈

  
He took a quick shower, threw his clothes on and brushed his teeth lost in his thoughts, not even realizing Hiro left and some other students were now occupying the room too.  
He only shook his head to clear his mind when he reached his own door and opened it slowly, not sure of what he would find behind it.

  
Derek was still lying in the same exact position as before. Maybe he'd fallen asleep again.

  
Stiles tried to gather his things as quietly as possible. His laptop on the desk, his bag on the floor, his phone- shit he didn't put it to charge last night- his jacket on the chair...

  
"Don't forget your meds." came from the bed.

  
The younger man startled, not expecting the werewolf to still be awake.

  
Stiles grabbed his bottle of pills after a second. He completely forgot about them.

  
"Thanks." He said, and left.

  
❈

  
Who knew two hours could be so long ?

  
It wasn't this long usually.

  
Nor this boring.

  
Why was it so boring ?

  
He didn't remember ever finding his Saturday's class boring.

  
Maybe because he never had anything to look forward to.

  
But ugh, still so long.

  
❈

  
When it was finally over -he didn't have any class the afternoon- he didn't go straight back to the campus, but instead took a detour to grab some take away because he was hungry as hell -forgetting to eat any real meal in the last few days did that to you- and assumed Derek wasn't very picky about food.

  
He quickly got to his room, where he hoped the werewolf was still in, and found himself waiting in front of his own door for him to open it. How weird.

Luckily, the man had indeed been waiting for him and let him in, taking the bags out of his hands. Stiles went to tuck his school stuff away and dropped on the bed with a sigh.

  
"How was class ?" Derek asked absently while unpacking the food.

  
"Ugh, the usual... Oh man I'm _hungry_ , give me this !"

  
They started eating while discussing about what Stiles was currently studying in college, an easy flow between them. It was a light conversation, effortless to carry. Joking and laughing between bites.

  
Laying down lazily when they were finished. Continuing to banter. Arguing about some pointless debate. Just staying in silence for a moment. And starting mocking the other again. Smiling.

  
He could get used to that. He wanted to.

  
❈

  
"Oh shit Scott" Stiles suddenly realized.

  
"What about him ?"

  
"And Lydia, today, they're leaving for college."

  
"Oh ?"

  
"They should have sent me a message though." he wondered as he looked through his recent texts, to see if he missed something.

  
"Maybe they forgot." Derek offered, but he seemed to get a little bit curious too, as he knew that :

  
"Lydia doesn't forget anything." Stiles reminded him.

  
But there wasn't any new message anywhere from anyone. His last one was from his dad a few days ago, asking if everything was alright.

  
"Wait."

  
The sheriff usually sent him something every day, that being to check if he was doing well or just to inform him proudly that he was eating healthy even with his son being gone. But nothing today, nor yesterday or two days before.

  
"Something's wrong." He said. Even if he didn't have any proof.

  
Derek was eyeing him carefully, a hint of worry on his face.

  
"Have you tried calling someone ?"

  
"Not yet..." he murmured as he pressed the green icon next to his dad's contact name.

  
They waited in silence.

  
His phone was beeping annoyingly as it tried to reach the sheriff's.

 

  
It never did.

  
"Something's wrong." Derek confirmed.

 


	6. Annoyed breaths and violent turns.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles and Derek finally go back.

They tried again, with Derek's phone too, to call someone from Beacon Hill. Anyone. But it was as if the network just wasn't working anymore. They couldn't reach the area.

  
"You're not coming." Derek argued for the millionth time in ten minutes.

  
"Why wouldn't I ? I'm not leaving my dad and my friends alone when they could be in danger !"

  
"We don't know that !" the wolf exclaimed angrily. "Maybe it's just a stupid phone problem ! You're not coming."

  
"Oh come on ! We both know it's never just a normal problem in this fucking town !"

  
"Stiles, you're not coming. Stay in college, I'll take care of this."

  
"Hell no dude. I don't care about college, I care about them !"

  
"I'm not letting you come."

  
"I'm not staying here."

  
"Yes you will ! Stiles ! This could be dangerous !"

  
"That's my fucking point !"

  
"And you could get hurt too, don't you get it ?! Look at you Stiles ! You're barely hanging on ! What do you think you're gonna do then ? Save your dad while having a panic attack over a fucking light flickering ? Run away from whatever hell creature in your weak, breakable body ? You won't able to help anyone ! _You stay here._ "

  
He didn't wanted to have to say that. He knew it'd hurt. He knew it was cruel.

  
Stiles was fuming.

  
But it was still true.

  
"You know what ? _Fuck you_." the kid spat at him. He deserved it. "We have two ways to do this : one, we keep arguing and we go there separately like fucking idiots. Or, we go together and have more chances of being useful. Because I'm going anyways. With or without you. You can choose."

  
He crossed his arms, glaring at the wolf.

  
It only took a look at the angry teen for Derek to remember the last time he yelled at him. His dad was in a potential life threatening situation, too. It seemed like it was the only thing that could really push the boy to the edge. Make him loose his cool.

  
And Derek understood that he had no right to keep Stiles from going make sure his family was safe.

  
So he caught the boy's eyes, and nodded once.

  
And they agreed.

 

❈

 

They managed to get an overpriced last minute flight, that Derek entirely paid because he could afford it. They'd grabbed his bag at his hotel on their way to the airport, and with some clothes thrown in a backpack for Stiles, it's the only thing they did before they found themselves on a plane. The younger man didn't even think about college and how he risked to be expelled by leaving like this, without warning anyone.

  
They weren't able to get neighbors seats, as they really bought tickets not even one hour before the plane took off, and it made Derek nervous. Because Stiles was a living ball of anxiety, especially in this situation, and he was worried as he couldn't keep an eye on him. He didn't even know if the kid had ever been on a plane.

  
The teen had been seated right behind the business separation curtain, in the middle of two middle aged people who didn't look like very indulgent humans, as far as he could tell.

  
Himself was several rows further, next to a young woman who read quietly. He couldn't see Stiles from here, but he could listen to his nervous heartbeat and the shuffling of his clothes as he twitched continuously in his seat. His leg was bouncing to an erratic rythme, uneven beating reaching Derek's attentive ears.

He could have a panic attack at every minute.

  
_Five hours and forty minutes._

  
He'd have to hold on for five hours and forty minutes. _They'd_ have to hold on for five hours and forty minutes.

  
He listened to Stiles taking a shuddering breath.

  
❈

  
It was probably the most impulsive decision he ever made, catching a plane and flying to the other side of the country just because _he couldn't call someone_. But he also had a bad feeling about it, as if he knew something was wrong. It seemed to grow bigger the closer he got to California. Like a shadow was caught in his throat and trying to get higher and higher, almost chocking him. He wanted to spit it out, to scratch his neck. He was uncomfortable. His limbs felt too heavy, his movements too sluggish.

  
_Five hours and thirty minutes._

  
That's when Stiles started biting his nails. He could almost see him with his fist near his mouth, his eyes cast downwards, his hands trembling and his head gently shaking from side to side.

  
_Five hours and twenty-seven minutes._

  
He heard the flight attendant ask the kid if he was alright. He answered that planes made him nervous. Derek wished he didn't hear his uneven heartbeat. He wished it could be the truth, and that this could be just a normal situation.

  
_Five hours and eighteen minutes._

  
The woman seated next to Stiles had started showing signs of annoyance. Exasperated sighs. He knew little arrogant side glances always accompanied these sounds. He knew Stiles was aware of her. He knew it only made him more nervous.

  
_Five hours._

  
This was getting very long. He didn't even have anything to do. Nothing to read. Not even a pencil and a piece of paper to write or doodle. Just had the little screen above his head reminding constantly how much time he had left.

  
_Four hours and fifty minutes._

  
Stiles was not getting better. He heard him attempt to calm down with long breaths, but a _tsk_ from his neighbor made him stop inhaling at all. Breathe, idiot, breathe. All he wanted to do was get up and make that damn woman leave the kid in peace.

  
_Three hours and twenty-two minutes._

  
That's when he finally got up and reached Stiles' row. That's when he heard the boy sob and his skin rub against something wet. That's when his breaths turned more chocked, more like whines.

  
"Stiles." He said softly as he saw the boy crumpled in his seat, looking at him with his big sad eyes, now painted red.

  
The two middle aged shot him disapproving glares, but he didn't pay them attention.

  
"Hey, Stiles, come on." He repeated, leaning over and holding out a hand.

  
He didn't know where to take him. He didn't see any free seat anywhere, but he had to get him to another place, where he could try to calm him without this kind of people around him.

  
Stiles took his hand, grabbed his bag from under the front seat and got out of the row, knocking the woman as he walked over her, but neither of the men said anything as she sputtered insults.

  
He lead the kid further into the plane, still not knowing where to go. In the end he saw his own empty seat next to the reading girl, and made Stiles sit there. He crouched in the aisle, hoping nobody needed to pass.

  
The teen was hunched over himself, his knees knocking together with his hands fiddling with the straps of his bag between his thighs. He was still crying, dispersed sob wracking his body, his gaze on an invisible point in front of him, his mouth slightly open.

  
Derek gently took his hands in his and loosened up his fingers.

  
"Hey, look at me." he ordered quietly. "Stiles, look at me."

  
When he did, Derek hoped he looked more reassuring that he felt.

  
"Stiles, they're gonna be okay. We're probably worrying to much, I'm sure they're all alright."

  
No he wasn't.

  
"You- You can't know that."

  
"No I can't."

  
If some people were shooting them curious glances, he didn't notice.

  
"But you also can't know the opposite, okay ? We'll be there soon, you just got to hold on for a bit longer. Try to breathe."

  
He placed a hand on the teen's back as he tried to calm down. The girl next to him exchanged a sad look with him and took a pack of tissues out of her bag. Derek thanked her with a nod as he took it and passed a white square to the boy.

  
_Three hours and ten minutes._

  
A flight attendant told Derek to go back to his seat, so instead he went to Stiles' old one, between the two whiny adults. The woman tried to make a reproach as he approached but he shut her with a glare.

  
_Three hours._

  
Stiles came down from his emotional spike so hard he fell asleep from exhaustion.

At least there hadn't been a panic attack.

  
_Two hours._

  
Derek was restless. He couldn't move between these two, and he needed to do something. He wanted to go for a walk, _or even work out_ , whatever. He couldn't just sit there and wait for two more hours. He needed to know if Beacon Hill was safe.

  
_One hour and forty minutes._

  
Stiles was up, and the anxiety was back. If Derek felt jittery, it was nothing in comparison of the hyperactive teen.

  
_One hour and thirty minutes._

  
He heard the reading girl ask if Stiles wanted anything, and she ended up handing him a book. The boy seemed to get so engrossed in the story that his heartbeat didn't rise for the rest of the flight. Thank you reading girl.

  
❈

  
"And then the author made a very good pun, but I can't tell you cause you wouldn't understand it if I told you. You need to read it."

  
So he really liked the book then.

  
❈

  
After they left the airport, they had no choice but to take a bus, which was an absolute nightmare as it was so _slow_. During the entire trip Stiles didn't stop talking about his reading, and it would have annoyed Derek if he wasn't so relieved it kept the teen from panicking.

  
He could still feel the worry and fear he hid under his constant babbling tough. He could still see the nervous glances he threw at the window or at his phone. The upbeat of his heart when the bus made the slightest of a violent move. He could still understand his words were a way to keep him occupied.

  
So he let him.

  
❈

  
The bus didn't even go to Beacon Hill. Instead, the two men got out at the nearest stop and walked the rest. It wasn't very long, but it surely exhausted the already drained teen. So much he stopped talking, and just followed morbidly the werewolf.

  
❈

  
"It's so empty..." Stiles observed as they entered the town. "So gloomy..."

  
Wasn't it ever ? Derek asked in his head.

  
❈

  
The Stilinski house was empty. As was Scott's.

  
He could feel the kid slowly crumbling.

  
❈

  
But the Jeep was still there, parked in the McCall's driveway. So they got in, and Stiles activated the radio.

  
Nothing.

  
❈

  
They drove around the city.

  
Nothing.

  
❈

  
"Stop." Derek suddenly ordered.

  
"What ?"

  
"I heard something..."

  
He concentrated. One, two, three, four seconds. Then he heard it again.

  
"Gunshots."

  
❈

  
When they reached the building, bullets were blasting everywhere. Wolves were growling.

  
Derek jumped out of the jeep, ready to attack, but he found himself in the middle of strangers, not knowing who was on their side or not.

  
"Watch out !" Stiles yelled from the Jeep, and he took a sharp turn to the left, sending an armed man to the ground.

  
That's when the werewolf recognized the person he had been shooting, standing in a shadow.

  
_Scott._

  
The alpha took a few steps forwards.

 

  
"You didn't think you were doing this without me, did you ?"

  
"Without us ?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it I guess !  
> The end of my first fanfiction... 
> 
> I'm sorry the last chapters are really bad, I wanted to give you a good ending but I'm not able to write anymore apparently. But I still hoped you liked it, and thank you so much for reading it ! I appreciate it so much !
> 
> Love ya guys :D


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